This photo takes me back a few years but was shared to me today by a friend. This is my family on a super exciting evening. All of our girls were finalists in the small business awards. Tiana at the time ran two successful businesses and was working and studying! She was in the finals for her pet minding business. My twins Renee and Stacey has a soap making business and sold at local markets and were still in school at this time. Whilst they didn’t win in their categories that wasn’t the point! We could not have been prouder of them. We had tried to instill in them a confidence to try things, and a sense of entrepreneurship. And that the world doesn’t hand anyone anything in a platter. If you want something - work hard at it. #nailinglife #familyiseverything ...
When I had a dream to start my Lavender business I made this my screen saver - fast forward almost a year and I rarely see the screen saver because during the day I’m too busy to let it get to a screen saver! But right now - mission accomplished. #lavenderplanmanagement #boutiquebusiness #choosepersonal #knowyplanmamager #girlboss #dreambigworkhard ...
A great article featuring my theee gorgeous girls xMORNING FEATURE
I Didn’t Say It Directly to Their Faces So That Makes It All Right Doesn’t It?
Just this week Rugby League’s Addin Fonau-Blake was charged with breaching the game’s Anti-Vilification Code because he called referee Grant Atkins a “f***ing retard” while on the field and then delivered a second verbal barrage at officials in the tunnels labelling them “spastics”.
In a video of Fonua-Blake answering questions from the club about the incident he said he did not understand how harmful his words were.
"Growing up I sort of used the word differently, not knowing what it actually meant," he said. "Now that I know what it means I'm very apologetic. I didn't mean any harm and I didn't mean to use it in a derogatory type of way to offend anyone. If I have offended anyone, I am very sorry."
"I remember walking back into the sheds and speaking there loudly. I wasn't aware that the refs were in the tunnels and they must have heard me say what I said in the sheds," he said.
"I didn't say it directly to their face, it was just me venting out loud in the sheds and they happened to hear it."
Fonua-Blake’s words were met with outrage both by the NRL and members of the public because using these words in that context is completely unacceptable. Some expressed the view that what he said deserved a longer ban.
When Fonua-Blake said he didn’t know what they actually meant we allowed ourselves the right to be further outraged. How could he not know?
Everyone knows never to use those words as insults.
Definitely we would never use those words as insults.
Definitely never in a in a face to face conversation with anyone.
But what about on social media?
Before you say you never would just think about some of the words you have written or retweeted.
But that’s ok isn’t it because they’re not said directly to their face?
Did we think it was all right for Fonua-Blake to use those words about the referees when he didn’t say them directly to their faces? No we didn’t.
“I didn't say it directly to their faces, it was just me venting out loud on the keyboard at them.”
Do we still think it’s ok?
The National Times received the following from a reader, and with permission we produce it here:
“The political and news pages of Facebook has become a very abusive place. We call each other all sorts of disgusting names and I must admit, I'm far from innocent. The left abuse the right, the right abuse the left, the anarchist abuse both, the Christians, Muslims and Jews, etc argue. It's ugly to see.
When I look at how we act, maybe we all deserve the names we are being called. However there are names like “Retard”, “Leftard”, Libtard”, “F@#ktard etc that may make the person who just called you similar angry, but there are others that will find these terms extremely hurtful.
My eyes were opened to this when I got to know my sons girlfriend and heard the stories about her two younger twin sisters. Stacey and Renee are almost 21 years of age. Stacey has Down syndrome and alopecia, she is one of the most happiest and pure people we know, all Stacey wants to and will do is leave smiles on people’s faces, Stacey is great with children and wants to be a parent “when she grows up”! Renee has ADHD and cerebral palsy, but that doesn't stop her from her passion of being a barista! Currently both Renee and Stacey have paid work at a small cafe, Renee is behind the coffee machine living her dream job as a barista and putting smiles on people’s faces as she does it and Stacey helps clean and leave people wanting more.
These girls focus on their abilities more than their disabilities and do what they can to make the most of their life, maybe we could all learn from that. Like most of us they try to live the best life they can and in their own areas, don't feel disable at all.
I was hit by this realisation in one comment and one link, I hope you are too.
“To all of my friends who use the word 'retarded' ... Please don’t. My sisters are beautiful and they should never have to hear that word..”
I won't be using those terms again, I hope you might choose alternative insults as well. We have oh so many to choose from.”